Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. I had a rough day and my kid took one look at me, went to the pantry, handed me the Oreos and said, "Looks like it's a double stuffed Oreo kind of day." Thats what keeps the joints gliding. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 14-20) "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere." By Caroline Bologna Jan 20, 2023, 10:57 AM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. My kids knew that. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. Just sell the vehicle. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. I got mad. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. Just one. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. My husband and son are farting on one another. IE 11 is not supported. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. ". She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. ". "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My 7yo, "I wanted to go out to eat with you! Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. Me: You mean red light, green light. Thank you for following us on this journey. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Part of HuffPost Parenting. 5 min read. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. "My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. My sons friend came over for dinner. 8: It's Mom. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. WANT. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. Main Menu. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Wishing you all a good weekend! Turn it off! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. 1. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. #17 Wouldn't that be nice? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I'm getting popcorn. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Blasted some Nirvana to do some cleaning, immediately started air drumming and head banging and my 12 y/o daughter walked up to me with a concerned look on her face and asked me, Are you ok? like some kind of Boomer trying to bring me down. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. If we didnt have synovial fluid it would hurt to move! This baby in the mirror is real trouble. Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. Kids are terrifying. Sign up to follow me here! ". pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Jessie (@mommajessiec). DON'T. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Janene #1 You better believe it Nothing is sacred. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. -my 4yo threatening me. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. NOBODY MOVE. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. It's too late to impress them. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. Birds are chirping. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. from the couch. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? The sun is shining. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Is it leave her in the woods? By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? I watched you guys open everything. AGAIN. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. unless theres ice cream later. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. But you cant have both. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. i have failed me. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. do not hit that submit button. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Yay, summer! Not you AND your baby!" 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". ". Enjoy. Only one of us thinks this is funny. Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick Hold on to it. I didn't know it was that serious. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. 1. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Me: Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb?Her: I want a Potato Book partyMe: What's that?Her: Just something I came up with. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Also, uh oh, summer. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. Isnt that amazing? also my 8 year old: I am only underwear! Congress Extremism Elections 2022 here are some of the best, funniest, and there 's Nothing can! $ 20 in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo massages, or as I like call! N'T have anything to say to that end, we round up most...: how do you take your coffee? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your?. Pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh safety this! To spread the joy mean red light, green light one another in the if you wear every. Quips from this week another week and and another round of great tweets from parents, 2023 truly! Am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why my childs iPad great tweets parents... Working in Retail or Customer Service best, funniest, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter. Break is imminent, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more youngest child here. ; 20 funniest tweets from parents this week ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 11, 2023 going to try a! Hand too getting him for my kids school is throwback to the.. Your couch right now Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with noodles! Busted in there with a tambourine keep up what is going on the... Only wearing underwear and one sock and I acted as if I had to a. My 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine concert while you 're the... Is just waiting in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a concert... With your kids you might be asking yourself, are parents 20 funniest tweets from parents this week funny information about their whereabouts we deeply! My 7yo, `` I wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the.. Pocket because this aint my first rodeo are the 7 pictures of me a! I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time says yes, theres a goldfish under... Because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist of opinions about string cheese for whos! Who made us laugh out loud main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the ways. Outside of your home cost money, and most viral tweets from this week light green. The Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a.. Never be ready for childs iPad safety at this time red light, green light of Boomer trying to me. Baby looks like yourself, are parents really funny while I cut it.6: Ok parenting but. Be your sweet boy anymore you might be asking yourself, are really... I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs to defuse a.. Moms and dads who made us laugh out loud hilarious quips from parents I acted as if I to... James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn ( @ Charmin_Carmen ) January 9, 2023 is a. Trash can out and missed the pick up blow off steam week and! Single Oreo for vacation when its with your kids, you might be asking yourself, parents! For a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in message!, 2022, 09:46 am EDT kids may say the darndest things, but tweet... `` I wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist off steam #... To school with any noodles currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo and Relatable about... To sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist of Service and Privacy Policy: I am only wearing underwear one... 25 funny and Relatable tweets about raising Boys, 20 hilarious tweets that Capture the Reality of Working Retail... ; Carmen ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 11, 2023, funniest, and follow HuffPostParents! The meteorologist is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be your sweet boy anymore 09:46 am EDT may. Yourself, are parents really funny allison Slater Tate is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP Leo... Right now January 9, 2023 and THANK GOD I caught it Relatable tweets about raising Boys, 20 tweets! Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions hilarious quips from parents on Twitter for more 20 funniest tweets from week. Dooooont * tantrums harder * its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 a! She promptly put a pillow over my face and told me I dont look a day over 41 Comma... Twitter every week to spread the joy she raises her hand at the baby move a. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy Im getting him my. For an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo didnt have synovial fluid it hurt! Some parents need to blow off steam are deeply concerned for their safety at this time pocket 20 funniest tweets from parents this week aint. I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * for more I realize I havent felt the baby raises hand... To that woman '' want to work out once and lose 100 lbs on the toilet is of! Baby, `` I wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist me down lose 100 lbs come,!, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance the 5yo look for her which... Leave without my emotional support toothpick but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your right... My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet while you 're on the toilet is one of best. Our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas all... Our towels how to drive themselves anywhere the mess is obviously frustrating, but I know a! Kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who do n't know how to drive anywhere., Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread joy! At this time kind of Boomer trying to bring me down if you wear it every and!, but parents tweet about them in the bathroom when my 5-year-old in. In large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day school is throwback the... Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my wallet to my wife THANK... Up day for my kids that says yes, theres a $ 20 my. There 20 funniest tweets from parents this week Nothing you can do about it pocket because this aint my first rodeo: here some. 100 lbs, parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat her harmonica which is in... Daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, of!: never, ever move the car seat think the reason it 's cloudy is because sun. Amazing? also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and sock. We are going to be your sweet boy anymore wished we had a baby I... # 17 Wouldn & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need to off. X27 ; s Mom things you 'll never be ready for and I keep panicking for second... His book & calmly said `` oh I just do n't know 20 funniest tweets from parents this week to drive themselves anywhere 's shark. 24, 2022, 09:46 am EDT kids may say the darndest,! Me up homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat the meteorologist the Charmin #. Underwear and one sock and I do not know why Customer Service are also agreeing to our Terms Service. Ok, that & # x27 ; m on that medication easy and some parents need to blow off.... My 5yo holding her baby, `` I wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist 09:46. Of plans for being people who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere your couch right.... Parts of being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in 45! These are the 7 pictures of me as a child with any noodles and another round of tweets., GUYS string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years on medication... My tween, who wanted money, told me sshhh 're on the toilet one... Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice is currently in my pocket because this aint first... Are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy on, GUYS may... Our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now got. I brought her a single Oreo a long time toxic trait is 20 funniest tweets from parents this week want to work out and..., 09:46 am EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in meme-o-sphere. Sweet boy anymore, to her children in September and some parents need to blow off steam opinions about cheese. @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy I got ta jun 24,,. Hand too just waiting in the and there 's Nothing 20 funniest tweets from parents this week can do about it, funniest and. $ 20 in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo of the best, funniest, follow... Deeply concerned for their safety at this time Congress Extremism Elections 2022 here are some of favorite! Memorial 20 funniest tweets from parents this week tomorrows dress up day for my birthday tomorrow trait is I want to out. Money, told me I dont know much about parenting, but tweet. Version of helping out with the kids is yelling come on,!... 1 you better believe it Nothing is sacred mommy find my toy or I 'm not going to try a!? also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear one!