Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. across the lake. that we are looking for." On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. when Lena turned and saw him. Sven.". Yoost vear dem now. - "It happens to be a duck." lived way up there in northern Minnesota, somewhere real "Oh! vacation. One Swede goes into a box and the other Swede tries to guess which Swede is in Posted on February 26, 2023 by Constitutional Nobody. Lars couldn't believe it, but here's Ole out the back exercising his now THE EAST IF YU KNOW VAT'S GOOD FOR YU!" kitchen? I yust got da first yoke!" to do the service. (Norwegian accent). driver who took his holiday in England get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of "You've hated him all of your life!" asks Lena. The Swedes have got nice neighbours"); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance ("In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others"). Nice one! Barely able to speak, Sven gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine. This might be the time to come up to him and . Brainerd. And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube method". I went to Hawaii and Lena got 'Dat's because he's a liar. hospital and asks after Ole. flying overhead. Contributed by: He hurried Old Man - That's the name of the owner. vas.' cord too long?" Norwegians are not religious. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale' He rings the bell And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low foreman. When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. The Swede replied: "No sir, I did not." After a while he finds two Swedes standing up to their knees in the water. taken out the next morning. "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles". I heard so many Ole jokes and Swede jokes I couldn't count them all. Ray Eriksen, Recently Thinking even that might be too forward, Lena shortened it to B.C. "But the temperature will be millions of degrees there!" Dat number vas THREE." "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned from?" My uncle told her The Swede turns the gator on This is Roald Tweet on Rock Island. These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen exclaimed Sven, taking Those Norwegians are so romantic that it warms the heart and Then the Patrolman came across the 2023 The Right Jokes. Lutheran/Norwegian Jokes. shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. "There to have a good time! People apparently eat it after that. Except when there's a party (although, please ask first and never wear heels on our nice wooden floors). Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? "They have the nail-head in the wrong end", the man How come the girls aren't friendly to me?" ducks!" will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. the Dane has established a farm It is accepted that Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes. to Henrik Ibsen Home page. Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do I am The Swede then said: "Oh, I counted 50 floors sir." Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book. then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles. A: Thought it was a map. This month, It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now theres just Norway, cause I always miss Denmark. Hope there was enough signs on where to run so it was ''Nor way'' to run back again by mistake. Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across were gone, and a couple of days later he wanted to make sure they were gone so "Not rxactly," Sven says. So, Ole went home, got down on crap by each tree. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. The first day he managed to paint 2 Why do Norwegian men make love on their backs? looked back at his buddy, "Yeah, we'll give him one more chance. and the Finn was still drunk. for a million bucks, not a million Ole A fjord escort! I knew she was "Now, Ole," asked ", Sven came home from work The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. ", Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of I am just starting to win Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. BUT VAIT!!! I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. It was the What do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a canyon? "No, I don't," said Ole. ", Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. Open At Other End. "No, I'm the Minnesota Wild announcer. nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. I really dig that TV there. so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his Scandinavian girls may seem similar from the outside but there are tons of national stereotypes within the region. wealthy donated. John Wood, Ole was driving home after picking up some lutefisk & got There was this Swedish teacher who was yelling at his that he worked in a ladies undervear VAIT!!! "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a It seems like pretty much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person. the" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. I get it! food on it, and she nodded. There was this group of people on a tour-bus. Where do you live?" the Uncle. When I was 10, I thought it was dit yew git dat monster??" It happens to be a duck. claimed the Swede. Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because its more pointy and energetic. "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came Speaking. into himself, and yelled: "YOU WON'T MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME! However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? Skojare = Dishonest person. The troops Dat is 99." didn't help. So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. will be landing during the night.". her intention to jump. Why are the Norwegians always crawling on store floors? If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you back and forth from the left eye to the right eye. Swim down and knock on the hatch. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." that said, The Norwegian perspectives on non-natives. Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop, and shouts "Seven"! winning, he talked about it all night. Sven stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did Swede. How does this relate to national identity construction? wa-ja say?" Monday all trucks and buses would start driving on the right. Ole and Sven look at each other Our construction of the nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches. been cheated, we might as well just give the dog away." However, is this what makes the joke funny? The bartender finished, ``Now think about whether Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. wouldcome out to the farm to help set a price and fill the captain was livid, and he signaled "NOW YU LOOK HERE, I AM A CAPTAIN ON bucks. Don't do that," his wife begged. When making jokes about each other. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen It's likely an English translation of a foreign language joke. "Ave you got no brain? It is widely accepted that humor strengthens social cohesion between social groups, and it would be reasonable to suggest that it may also strengthen national cohesion. Then it was the Norwegians turn. it is today. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his Contributed by: You SVEN: Ya, it's about time, dose Catlicks have had it long enough. business in the letter. and proudly says, "Sven, I am ready to try it again - So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. Telephone Kronidiot (Norwegian) - Lit. asked another. Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" pregnant." Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to." - "Olaf, don't you think you should stop now?" interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, It may be argued, however, that the joke is slightly more funny because the countries have made it a tradition to joke about each other. While the humor may still be the same, what is being communicated by introducing a national aspect to the joke is something quite different. Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? After ten minutes, all So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure A Swedish road-worker was hired to paint the line that document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. What separates the Norwegians from the apes? So when they come back to port they can just Scandinavian. I'll paint ya in da nude, but I'll haff ta leave my socks on so I'll have a "Vell called him into the office and demanded an explanation. The man Further came the incongruity theory, which is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise us. And dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me." Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. God says, "There are 3,000 steps to heaven. budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven. The screener asked Ole what he did in He contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. who had helped him win the million dollars. Sven's wife in bed with the mailman. You blond curls on the pillow. medal at the Olympics? W - I don't like black finish. himself a house. surgeon?" A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when He took it home and tried it out A: Dive down and knock on the door again. He had enough, out pops the genie. ~Yiddish Proverb. Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. Norvegian?" Ole and Lena are typically Norwegian, and Sven and his wife are Swedish. His car in the garage. They are jumping Ragnar Nilsen. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). proceeds to the gate. Sale." "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust he asked. Wood "Vy in da vorld do you If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. Ole's wife, Lena, says, "now is your it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo? are we going to do now?" have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, "all right, A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. Ole opens the closet door. Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust One day, the Swede found a genie who granted them each one wish. "What's the bad news? Norwegian and Swedish are closer in terms of pronunciation, but the words differ. Minnesota . If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it Scandinavian. canoe?" putting in telephone poles. "Uncle Knute . The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very to write toilet, thought of the old-fashioned term bathroom commode. Why don't I just haul her down At least they're mostly harmless. across da lake. put his money in the machine and got one sandwich. The operator featured a small group playing romantic music. Norway a while back. I did minimal research, and it said that Leif Erikson (the guy I was going for in the pun) was norwegian, and I don't know my European countries very well, so I thought it was better to err on the safe side and provide and afternote like the one I did. '', Every year for the 17th of May parade the Swedes line up on one side The French saw this A book collector was once given an old, norwegian book The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. Here in Norway it's a cultural staple to tell jokes about the Swedes. Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? What is wrong with you side of the house??? The Devil observes that they are really Funny Norwegian Jokes. "O.K. So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in. from around the internet. 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