It feels awful when you feel like you care about him more than he does about you. But he want to intimate with me. Its less taxing on my emotional self to stay lonely. He used to do things for me but it seems like he doesnt do anything. He started withdrawing from me after I asked him 2-3 times to hang out and do things with me. I asked him to help me move to where he lives the first 2 times he said yes quickly.. Like once or twice a week.I asked him to put in some efforts and he said he would change and that he is trying. His attitude stinks toohe laughs in my face when I get upset by this. He said he was planning on proposing that year. He is not a bad person, his life I guess doesnt have room for me..This decision has however, broken me, I know it was right but it still hurts I just hope I wasnt expecting too much??? He also gave me his hat. He confess to me that he started to love in our 1 month relationship. It sounds that you need to work on yourself first. Heres my concern-We live 70kms apart amd stick to phone calls and texts and online communication. Fine, dont come. He is in law school, I am getting my masters, and we also partake in a long distance relationship. I dont know why he got back with me when he cant even put effort. That bothers me because on his birthday I did get him a little something and also, called his sister to get his favorite chocolate cake and chocolate icing recipe of his moms who is deceased. I love my boyfriend, but just cant get the feeling that he feels the same. If every word out of your mouth is an insult, a critique, or disparaging remark, I honestly think we have a future together, but Im not his priority right now and I wonder if the possible future is worth fighting for. He is separated with 4 kids and a selfish demanding ex wife who took everything she could from him while they were together. Theres a reason why the Geneva Convention bans sleep deprivation as torture What you need to do is make time to get a little bit of rest (and youll actually find that you will become more productive with a little rest too and not have to spend so much time lacking sleep). Also his mum is very protective of him and has him wrapped around his finger, when she wants him home he goes which is very frustrating for me. A lot of times my boyfriend has realised he did it on purpose to hurt and he regrets his words right after. Youre boyfriend seems like a catfish. Im a very physical touch/ Quality time person. This all happended 1 1/2yrs back.. From that day on, several times we discussed this. I didnt hear from him till early Sunday morning when I drunk texted him. Youre still young and should take that same advice youd give your daughter. Still didnt have my phone but my bf wanted to see me. so I do have to take that into account, and when his parents go away for the summer its wayyyy easier to spend more time with him, he becomes so laid back. Back as a baby, he said the vet said not to let her sleep or have that on for a while because she is a labradoodle and it makes their hair very knotty and bad for their skin. All of the sudden he said hes not into texting. We would stay up all night calling for hours, thats how we learned the most about each other. Right now hes not even talking to me. One thing I have learnt over the years is that we shouldnt let our kindness be a weakness in front of men. He gets annoyed and sighs and does the What do you want from me now?? I have told him that I will be losing a lot when I move career wise. ! And then what we talked about was not set in stone and that things change. He loves the gym and usually chooses that over me, hanging out with his friends etc but then when we do actually spend time together hes all over me and appreciates me so much and makes me feel amazing. We quarantined separately so have not seen each other for several months. We never do anything spontaneous or fun, and Im the type of person who loves that stuff. I literally had to make the dinner reservation for us. When we talked about moving in together I did it all. through text, he claims to love me and all that, but in person, i feel like he does the bare minimum. He doesnt reply to you, so he doesnt deserve to know youre going to find someone else. Im 55, I decided I can not live another minute in an unstable relationship. everything stopped. I dont know if he is afraid of fall in love, but he repeatedly went to silent non responsive, when I ask why, he always says he just been busy. This guy never learned to be a good partner, and it sounds like he doesnt know how to try now, either. He did have a hard time texting back or talking and thats what brought me to posting the initial question. I was sad I didnt ask for any of his contact info so I only had his name. If so, you have to trust that your relationship can handle this temporary lull in affection and attention. I begun to be desperated just to win him back but hes tough enough to avoid me and forget everything we had. InWhen He Doesnt Make Time for You: How to Create More Love in Your Relationship, Byron Katie shows a man how to build a better relationship by questioning thoughts such as I want him to spend more time with me.. Sometimes when I try to kiss him he shoved me away. My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up recently, but within a few days, he decided he wanted to get back together to work things out. The first year was good, with what I call sparks! He is very sporadic with hugs and holding hands. In the first year of the relationship it was really good and he made an effort to be with me, and I felt like he really loved me. (Probably why she fell in love with another man) now its like he is determined for me to not become selfish. I dont want to much. Doesnt want to go do nothing but work on projects for the house. He got a job and now works from right after school until 8:30, six days a week. If you have never met in person then its more than enough reason to break up with him. But i want to fix this again. When you get his attention, never hesitate to say your mind. I think its not enough to say I dont feel like Im a priority. I have started noticing lots of cracks in our relationship which have eventually led to me feeling unloved, invisible, not a priority and lonely. I am insecure and scared because all my past relationships,Ive been either cheated on or dumped. Hes now begging for me back , saying hes going to change. I was like OK and we moved on with our usual routine. I didnt really understand why he said that when I been there since day one and still been here but I wanted to also considered how he felt and change that. His mom, so sweet and caring, once scolded me because I refused to go on a trip with him. It became so bad that I almost broke up with him. Should I quit or continue with the relationship? Is that just how things are going to go? Try to be better. Know your worth and dont settle for a man who doesnt act like hes got you pinned down, get a man who treats you like he cant get enough of you. I dont know what to do. He is failing to realize that I am being affected too. My first true love affair and I got completely ripped off or short changed. I felt once again unappreciated. It took several conversations where I told him i needed him to be the one to ask me to meet up and reach out more often, as it made me feel loved. Its been since then that the dating pattern of our relationship has declined significantly. Hes sees things in one paranoid way only, that Im selfish and dont really love him and just like the things he can give me. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year. This is hard for me because Ive always been a helpless romantic, and Im always doing little cute things for him, not because I expect it in return but because I genuinely want to. His golden excuse is Im busy. I feel so let down all the time when I really am not asking for much. I dont have a say in anything and I cant express how I feel because he tells me its all on me and pretty much its my fault I feel the way I do. Hes the opposite. Well, a few weeks have gone by and the love languages and arguing and overall communication has been better. I love everything you said and its so true. ive been always the understanding one. We are doing thanksgiving together. Its really hard, but Im trying. Sometimes I felt that he was mad at me, he would say that I was a show off or that I always took things too seriously. For within us we can make changes we want the rest will come. We get along well because we were good friends before the relationship, we have a lot in common, but spent a little time together in person before the relationship, communicating mainly online. Thats the one thing that i really expect. Our honeymoon ended way sooner than for others. Im always the one asking him to do something, Im always planning my work schedules around his and swapping shifts etc I just feel like its so one sided sometimes. But when it comes to his business he always asks for my help and Im always putting things aside to help him. He didnt want to and i ended up cheating. And then proceeded to call me later like nothing was wrong to tell me about something that happened at work. Honestly he may need some space. Always come lastAnd itsbreaking My heartthat I dont know what to do Financially Im not able to move And my son doesnt want to Any advice? There is someone else for you. feels as though what they say doesn't matter (and they've stopped talking altogether), then look within. If your partner doesn't pay attention to you, it could come down to one of the six signs below. I really think this will be a good thing for us because Ill be able to have my own independence and maybe make him see that I can be happy without him (even tho as of right now we are planning on staying together and commuting to each other when we can). One day he suddenly started to show interest and after a couple of months we started dating becaus I have always kinda liked him. Its been hard but there are better things to come. He used to be affectionate and communicates a lot. If you depend on him for your self-identity and self-image, then you have to learn how to be an emotionally strong woman in your relationships. He said I did agree to go to the park this weekend. Dont let your wishes control your thoughts and feelings. You cant change how he acts toward youyou can only change your expectations. Ive thought of letting him go because hes not what I want in a relationship, but hes the only one in this world that knows every single thing thats been in my head. Any time i initiate sex, he either stiffens up, doenst move or lets out an exasperated sigh. Getting older I desired to go on dates more and more. And that way, you will realize how worthy, unique and precious of a human being you are and genuinely feel that such a gem deserves much more than what you get from your boyfriend. I dont know what to do anymore. Start taking care of Yourself. Girl, you need to get out of that relationship now! Feel so down on a Friday night. I dont think he knows how a relationship works or I am just difficult to be with. He said he wanted to have a deeper talk about expectations and his four years old son before we can be official. We have had problems in the past about him flirting with girls on social media but never that Ive known for him to actually meet someone and get their number and asking her out. He would go as far as always try and give me hugs and he would try for me all the time and text me non stop, he would put an effort into trying to get me and he would always call me pretty and beautiful. He says he doesnt want to text and show love and tells me to be patient. We girls if determined, are so much more stronger than guys Angela. I am secretary saving money to leave. And now a year & half down the line we seem to be in a rut. It just seems like a cliche movie begining or something. If, say, youre a non-stop talker, you frequently talk over your partner, tend to interrupt, and just aren't a good listener, they'll stop sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings because they don't feel "heard." Please advice and apologize for the long narration. Advice please? The first 5 he was boyfriend of the year. Soon realizing i wasnt going to come back to where i met him i tried to break it off. Its like he wants to cause as much damage as he can verbally to win and I dont get it. Or he took them off somewhere he shouldnt have between home and work and left them or maybe regifted to one of his cohort? It only got better when the pandemic hit and it seemed like we wouldnt see each other very much although we live 10 minutes apart in different towns. I used to blame myself but I took DBT and have actually tried employing the skills I learned. The man is now in jail. I think I should do alot of listening when we get back to talk again. Youre worth someone who is your equal. We no longer sleep in the same bed, he has chosen to sleep on the couch. Also He text slow and we converse only when we have some argument. You can let go slowly at first and just start seeing other people. My bf is the same and continuously emphasizes to me that he is trying. I dont do things just to expect it in return but you just want reassurance that youre appreciated. That he put them in their box where he can find them easily when hes getting dressed in the morning and didnt remember where. Yes leave him. And now he hasnt talked to me in almost three weeks. Fear of commitment/fear of pain (especially if engaging with you triggers those emotions that remind him of a past failed relationship). Thats why I feel like I need to leave. The thing is there seemed to be no problem in our relationship, i love him and i feel like its mutual but about two weeks ago he began to claim that i was cheating on him (which Im not) and well ik its happened to him before. I know for sure that he likes me as well. But for about two of those months, weve been in a long distance relationship due to him being relocated for work and weve only really seen each other about two or three times irl. I always refuse because I want to make it on my own. Honestly this lockdown really changed my relationship! Im so upset. He calls me stupid n crazy. Show that you love them, laugh, argue, help eachother. Because then they they think they can control and manipulate us. but yeah I rlly love this guy and our relationship is dying. I am going through something eerily similar as you described. I did not even have to think about going this is what people do for each other. I feel stuck, tired and so vary heavy like every step I take is being pulled back by large bricks as everyone else passes by at a much faster rate. Also, Ive been having a lot of cheating dreams but Im assuming its because he doesnt make me feel secure in the relationship because of the change. ? Also be prepared to lose him. Am I being needy too much? For example, he never said that he was looking forward to seeing me when he made plans to hang out, so I stopped doing that. I want to make things work. Its sad when other give you the compliments that you are looking from in one person. High on mine, low on his. He used to call me at night before he sleeps,now he doesnt anymore,he takes days to reply my whatsapp messages. He cant see his daughter now because his crazy ex wife wont let him. but i told him nah! Im sorry. I found the place, set up the lease. But its not ones job to fix me. Hi. I stayed in that relationship. We have a beautiful home and are dog and cat owners. should i stay or let go? Am so confused I dont rilly know what to do . The day before yesterday he texted me saying hes been feeling unwell and didnt get much sleep. When he is sad I quit everything to cheer him up. Am I expecting too much from him? But hes not very ambitious and is a homebody which Im sure comes from pot smoking, makes u lazy. The first date was half a year into our relationship at an Italian restaurant. My issue lately is, he will tell me he will come to my house on Saturday after work, then later he will call and say he has to go get his dogs and pick them up. You wish your boyfriend was as attentive and loving as he was at the beginning of your relationship. However his texts are friendly, never intimate or flirty. He has some property on the other side of town, he asked me to move in with him to establish a foundation. The one time I did ask him to pick me up at the train, he forgot. He is using you for everything you got. But again, ask if he wants to just get anything off of his chest about his father, and just let him talk. This past week, I got strep throat and was miserable, so I didnt do anything, and since I got antibiotics, Ive been feeling better, but Im debating on doing anything to show him how much I do and how little he does. So yeah after that we began talking and calling. We look for people to fill our emptiness and when they arent meeting the standards we become emotionally unstable. You deserve so much more than whats going on and it seems like youve been by his side throughout all the ups and downs but he cant be the man you need. I dont know if you have or not, but try just letting him spill his heart out to you about his feelings. This guy isnt my boyfriend but we met in a way that would almost seen like fate. Yes I agree me with Kristina. I dont know what else to say about any of it, but I do know that Im getting more depressed by the day. and I can say that I would of made more of an effort. I get everyday but we go like 3 weeks to a month to once a month. I am learning. This man is no good for you, and he will never learn how to grow out of his depression if theres someone always doing everything for him. His brother lives for free with his mother and he has nothing but contempt for him over it. We continue dating but not once did he ever bring up talking about all that he mentioned. I have been noticing that he is lacking some qualities that I need in a mate. Everything is done ON PURPOSE to stick a fork in his eye like youre not that important, sorry. Idk what to do I dont want to lose him but i cant tell if he loves me or not he says he rlly does but doesnt act like it. Especially since he cant even deliver the bare minimum in this relationship. Its just making me feel awful but its so difficult because he is my life Ive been with him that long and he is a sensitive person I dont want to hurt his feelings as he isnt bad at all hes just lazy, but I really feel like Im wasting my time now. So currently on the couch drinking a beer, eating leftovers from a 3 days ago (which is humorous because he could have at LEAST heated that up for me) and then all the sudden the dog jumps up at me. But, he still seems emotionally unavailable in that he doesnt know how to express his feelings for me, or reassure me. This sounds like a mentally and abusive situation. So I am working on adjusting my expectations so I dont get disappointed. Be careful when you hear those words. He also said that I know how he is and that he is tired from work. I may be demanding at times but I definitely know I deserve more than the effort hes willing to put in. But loves to act as if what Im saying isnt logical. Dont ever think you are alone btw! Lets see whats they do. Which was Im looking so bad I dont want neighbours to see me like this. I cant help but feel like he doesnt care as much about me as he used to, as we used to spend more time together before when I was more prioritized. He is properly dressed and looks fine, just too add. He never wants to go anywhere or do anything. Rather call it quit now and learn to live without him as soon as possible because you are in a loveless relationship. Right now I feel like Im an inconvenience to him. My boyfriend is Lebanese and given the situation there (economic crisis, unemployment rate and poverty rate are getting higher), he began manifesting symptoms of an overly stressed man. Can anyone help me and give me some advice? I question why after knowing what he knows, he wont even try to talk to me. He just plays it off as nothing serious unless Im breaking down crying. Ask them, I feel like youre ignoring me. No romantic dates (I know a walk in a park can be romantic but not when thats all you ever do together), no random little surprises from his side, no dinners etc. i felt unhappy with it.. i wanted to give up but i feel like im the only one who can understand him and love him uncondtionally. As it turns out hes none of these things. But he never tells me how he feels when I ask. Insulting me, asking me if I wrote in my little journal for today that my goal is to stop asking him for stuff?? 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